why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
