oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Are we still banned from the library?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
