he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
