We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
