3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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