Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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