Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize