ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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