i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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