you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
