I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize