I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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