used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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