Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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