i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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