I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
