My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
