i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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