I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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