THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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