she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
nutella sex= disaster
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
