bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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