Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
