I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
