tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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