just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
