69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
