I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
