you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
