Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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