We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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