i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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