You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
