so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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