Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
