I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize