i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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