I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
