My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize