I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
