Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
