Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
