this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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