Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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