so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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