I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
