What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
