Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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