you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i barfeds in our rink
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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