I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
