did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
