so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Don't make out with my wife yet
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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