i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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