How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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