If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
