i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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