your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
