Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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