Your mouth is God's brothel.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
