Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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