Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
