This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
