is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
