I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize