i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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