Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
