Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
