As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
