I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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