i think i have herpe
just one?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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