Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
