I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she smelled like a LAN party
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
