would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
